The one BIG question all pregnant women get is: "Is it a Boy or Girl? Are you going to find out?" The curiosity of knowing the gender of what's growing inside of the belly is overwhelmingly common with strangers and family alike. With the first pregnancy, we found out immediately. We couldn't WAIT to find out! With this second pregnancy though...we also can't wait to find out. In fact, we're even more anxious to find out the gender! The technician called it the "hamburger" or "hot dog". Get it? After seeing thousands of ultrasounds, she said that she looks for those profiles. Hilarious!
The decision to find out or to keep it a secret is a big one for some. There are the obvious reasons why people want to find out: to plan, to get appropriate color gifts, to stop guessing, etc. More than the planning, I personally think the greatest benefit is KNOWING who this little human is and feeling a closer bond. All of a sudden, it's not "the baby", but it's "my little man" or "my girl". I can actually talk to her, pray for her, think about her, and push myself to be healthier for her. It just made it more real for me and for many others who have shared the same decision. A mom of 2 actually said it was great to know in order to make it more real for the older sibling.
However, there is another side to it all. NOT finding out could be a great thing! For some reason, most of my close friends all didn't find out. They said the secret was exciting, a fun guessing game, a great anticipation and motivation to run to the finish line. I can see it being something to really look forward to...adding another element to the miracle of childbirth. Afterall, in the ol' days, there were no ultrasounds to "find out" at the magic 20th week, so why do it now?
Ultimately, when you make the decision to find out or not, I would take these 3 things into consideration:
- Make sure you're on the same page with your partner. If one wants to find out and the other doesn't, try to reach a common decision. Keeping a secret like this from the other will never work!
- Keep the gender in perspective. Whether it's a girl or boy, you're going to end up loving the baby more than you know. Throw out all the preconceived notions of what it would be like to have a girl or boy.
- Every birth is a miracle. Having a human being grow inside of you is a miracle. Having it come OUT of you is a miracle. Go with whatever you think will make you feel closer to the baby because the bonding starts now.
(In 5 weeks, we hope to find out the gender of baby #2. If you guess it correctly, you may get a free BabbaCover or something. :) )