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Written by:
Jessica Kim
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 2:01 AM
 I used to think this thing was so cute. Not so much after my first day of potty training. I decided to take the next 3 days working from home to jumpstart Kayla's potty training. Working from home is hard enough, but adding potty training and patent issues made it a crazy day!
All the conflicting methods of potty training can get confusing. It wasn't until I updated my Facebook page with the status: "Excited for the first day of potty training. Wish me luck. Any advice out there?" The power of the mom community pulled through with incredible advice and encouragement. The other influx of emails were from my other mom friends with younger kids saying, "take notes because I'll need them!". So, I'm going to share my real time thoughts with you parents out there.
My friend, Sarah, sent me most of the great advice that I decided to use. (thanks, sarah!!!) Three key steps to start the morning:
- "Have your toddler throw away all your diapers!": I took off K's diaper, but instead of putting another one on, I opened the diaper drawer and said, "Kayla, can you help me throw away your diapers? No more diapers for K!! You're a BIG GIRL now!" She eagerly threw away all the diapers as if it were a game - going back and forth. I sang, "No more diapers for me..." I showed her the empty drawer and said, "No more! All gone!" She repeated it and understood. (Of course I didn't throw them away for real!! Diapers are expensive!! Make sure the garbage can nearby is clean. ;) )
- "Put on BIG GIRL/BOY underwear!": Then, I let her pick what color underwear she wanted. As I put it on her, I showed her mommy's underwear. Toddlers want to be like mommy/daddy. She got excited and I kept commenting on how "pretty" the Big Girl underwear looked. I kept her in just underwear and a long tee all day.
- "Be prepared with the goods": You'll need lots of liquids (I tried to stay away from juices, but I let her have a moderate amount). The goal is to let them drink a lot for plenty of potty training opportunities. Line the couches with waterproof lap pads or towels. Lots of paper towels, cleaning solution, rewards (stickers, fruit gummies, m&m's, etc.), and have a few friends/family "on call" to congratulate them if and when the potty actually happens.
Key learnings for the first day:
1. Don't leave her side around their usual time for going #2. Right when you leave their side, that is when they will go potty. So, try to devote your days to them. Both times she went #2, I was literally gone for one minute to unload the laundry or let the dog out! I found her after she stepped in the mess. :(
2. Don't talk on the phone. They want your full attention! Major unexpected issues came up with BabbaCo and I had to talk to my contractor. We HAD to talk seriously about upcoming products and this is how it went: "So, the products has the double sided...oh OH OH!! Potty? You have to go Pee Pee? (panting from running) Go potty pee pee! (Kayla wimpering from missing the potty)...Sorry, Jim. Great...this is the most expensive potty training ever - getting charged to go potty!" *sigh. Every time I was on the phone, Kayla would miss the potty. When I was playing with her, she actually had success.
3. Have enough underwear. I ran out of the 7 pairs in the first 2 hours.
4. Key: "Catch them in the act". Instead of placing them on the potty asking them to pee every 30 minutes, catch them right as they start (hence don't leave their side for the first few hours). Hopefully, they will finish in the potty and you can show them how exciting that is. Kayla got so annoyed whenever I just asked her to go potty. She would say, "I am not!". But, after a few times running her to the potty as she went pee, she started to understand. She went 5 times on her own today! Woohoo! (The other 12 times...lost count...was me wiping the floor.) I'll take it though!
More to come tomorrow...thank goodness for other moms, rug cleaner, and team members with 4 kids of his own. *sigh. I'm pooped...
Tags:
10 comment(s) so far...
so how is all that *great* advice going for you?
The title was not meant to mock the advice of your friends...I just wanted to know how it's going for YOU and K? You may soon find out that every parent and child has their own schedule and methods; no matter how hard you try and how prepared you may think you are…you may not be.
There's a lot pressure to have kids trained by a certain date (i.e., Kayla turned 2 and now it's time). I don’t know if Kayla’s demonstrated “potty readiness” or if you feel that she should be potty ready. Of course, that's coming from someone who totally didn't give in to any pressure and planned to send her kids to college in diapers. Or more likely, I was too lazy to give into that pressure. I didn’t want to use valuable vacation days to potty train. I didn’t want to force someone else to train my kids or clean up after them. I couldn’t stop my life for
potty training and stay within 10 feet of the toilet for a few days. I have every excuse in the book so I let my first daughter potty train when SHE was ready.
Fortunately, she attended a preschool that didn't require potty training. When she started preschool at three years old, she went in underwear (like all big kids do!), but would never pee out of the house. She could hold it for over 8 hours without an accident until she just couldn't take it any longer. Months later, she started using the bathroom if we were out all day. We had a folding potty seat that gave her more confidence, as well as a portable potty that she could use in the car if we couldn't find a bathroom nearby. The whole first year of preschool (luckily for her a half day class), she didn't use the bathroom at school and never had an accident.
If I couldn't force pee training, I definitely couldn't force poop training. That was a traumatic event that didn't happen until after her fourth birthday when we talked it up. She must have been the only almost four year old requesting a diaper to poop, but as with all parenting things, that too has past. After a rough week with a few tears, pooping on the potty is no big deal. Sadly, the first few times she pooped on the potty, she needed her pacifier to do so. (Yes, the pacifier is a whole other story, but no, she doesn’t have it anymore and that was only two nights of trauma.)
For night training, we didn't train. She used pull-ups at night. After months of being dry, SHE had the confidence to decide to give up the pull-ups at 4.5 years old. We talked about it, but didn't force it. This saved me a lot of laundry, but cost me many pull-ups. (Lately, she pees right before bed then sometimes TWICE at night. WHY?! Especially if she could hold it for over 8 yours?!)
By the way, don’t think that we didn’t try rewards and presents of every type. My daughter could not be bought. Really.
If you wait long enough, they train themselves. Then they have the cognitive understanding, the peer pressure and the desire to train. We’ve had virtually no accidents, but I have to be the worst example for potty training….my almost three year old still uses pull-ups because she can.
By Another mom... on
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 10:41 PM
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so how is all that *great* advice going for you?
The title was not meant to mock the advice of your friends...I just wanted to know how it's going for YOU and K? You may soon find out that every parent and child has their own schedule and methods; no matter how hard you try and how prepared you may think you are…you may not be.
There's a lot pressure to have kids trained by a certain date (i.e., Kayla turned 2 and now it's time). I don’t know if Kayla’s demonstrated “potty readiness” or if you feel that she should be potty ready. Of course, that's coming from someone who totally didn't give in to any pressure and planned to send her kids to college in diapers. Or more likely, I was too lazy to give into that pressure. I didn’t want to use valuable vacation days to potty train. I didn’t want to force someone else to train my kids or clean up after them. I couldn’t stop my life for
potty training and stay within 10 feet of the toilet for a few days. I have every excuse in the book so I let my first daughter potty train when SHE was ready.
Fortunately, she attended a preschool that didn't require potty training. When she started preschool at three years old, she went in underwear (like all big kids do!), but would never pee out of the house. She could hold it for over 8 hours without an accident until she just couldn't take it any longer. Months later, she started using the bathroom if we were out all day. We had a folding potty seat that gave her more confidence, as well as a portable potty that she could use in the car if we couldn't find a bathroom nearby. The whole first year of preschool (luckily for her a half day class), she didn't use the bathroom at school and never had an accident.
If I couldn't force pee training, I definitely couldn't force poop training. That was a traumatic event that didn't happen until after her fourth birthday when we talked it up. She must have been the only almost four year old requesting a diaper to poop, but as with all parenting things, that too has past. After a rough week with a few tears, pooping on the potty is no big deal. Sadly, the first few times she pooped on the potty, she needed her pacifier to do so. (Yes, the pacifier is a whole other story, but no, she doesn’t have it anymore and that was only two nights of trauma.)
For night training, we didn't train. She used pull-ups at night. After months of being dry, SHE had the confidence to decide to give up the pull-ups at 4.5 years old. We talked about it, but didn't force it. This saved me a lot of laundry, but cost me many pull-ups. (Lately, she pees right before bed then sometimes TWICE at night. WHY?! Especially if she could hold it for over 8 yours?!)
By the way, don’t think that we didn’t try rewards and presents of every type. My daughter could not be bought. Really.
If you wait long enough, they train themselves. Then they have the cognitive understanding, the peer pressure and the desire to train. We’ve had virtually no accidents, but I have to be the worst example for potty training….my almost three year old still uses pull-ups because she can.
By Another mom... on
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 10:41 PM
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This is the kind of stress I want to help avoid.
Thanks for the link to your blog post on Twitter. Now I understand why you said the potty training was STRESS. I'd say double stress; for you and your daughter as well. Hopefully you've both come through the other side without the huge setbacks that underwear Saturdays caused in my house before I realized that it was NOT WORKING.
My daughter was 18 months when she asked to use the potty for the first time and we jumped on the potty train. She did great with timed potty sits and regular potty visits. The accidents in the underwear thing completely stressed her out and slowed her total transition time down by about 4 months, by my estimate. I do NOT recommend anyone "throw away the diapers" unless their child is at least two and, by preference, two and a half years old.
That doesn't mean don't start potty training, by the way. It is possible to start gradually teaching a child the skills he or she needs as soon as s/he is walking and can understand what yes and no mean. That means around the first birthday. But potty training a one-year old is completely different than potty training a two and a half-year-old, which is different from potty training a child who is over three. That is an important message most potty training methods fail to convey.
My story ends happily, by the way, with my daughter asking to wear "big girl panties" one day when she was 27 months and never looking back. She continued to wear the Antsy Pants™ Pull-Up Cloth Diapers that I designed for her at night only until 30 months, and then told us she was done with "night night pants" too. So my 2 1/2 year old is 100% through with diapers.
Good luck to you on your journey. If I can be of any help to you please let me know. I have given the subject of potty training my pretty much undivided attention for over a year now.
By Renee on
Thursday, April 16, 2009 11:47 AM
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