I always said that I would be REAL in this blog.  I would share real thoughts as we go through parenthood…and life as a parent.  I stopped blogging for a bit because I was at a loss for words.  Over the holidays, we got news that I had never expected.  My mom got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Cancer?  What? Pancreatic? MY mom?  It still feels like a total bad dream that cannot be real, but unfortunately…it is.  My mom is the lifeline of our family, the backbone to our lives, and literally exudes nothing but love.  People who meet her think she’s so ‘cute’, fun, and generous.  She’s my best friend and I can’t imagine life without her.  *sigh.

I flew out to NJ from Chicago last week (at 37 weeks pregnant).  I wrestled with the decision to fly out because it’s obviously risky to fly that late in the pregnancy. I went to the doctor and I was not showing any signs of going into labor any time soon.  So, after weighing out the situation, my husband and I decided that it was worth going.  My mom was heading into surgery to get the tumor out.  You can never get that time back and my family needed me…I needed my family.

I’m sharing this right now…well, because for one, if my mom survives this (and she will), it will be a long road to recovery and it’s a priority in my life.  I’m sure it will be a source of many reflections and newfound realizations as we experience so much of the upcoming unknown.  Secondly, it made me really think about motherhood and the circle of life.  As I was mourning over the news about my mom, I saw every interaction with Kayla in a different light.  Every time she said, “momma…mommy…I want mommy”, I couldn’t help but think of myself doing that with my own mom when I was young.  The way I feel about Kayla is the way my mom feels about her children.  I couldn’t imagine leaving Kayla.  The way Kayla feels about me is the way I still feel about my mom.  The circle of life and parenthood is something that is fascinating and so beautiful.

This is just a reminder to all of us that every moment in life is a blessing.  Every relationship, every child, every parent, every friend…  Take the time every single day to share how you feel about that loved one in your life.  Don’t wait for tragic news.  I am known in my friend group to be the “cheesy one” because I will tell that person how I feel about them randomly as I feel it.  You never know when life is going to take a turn.  You never know when you won’t get a chance to tell someone how you feel.

Whether it’s to your parent or your child or your spouse or your friend…hug them everyday and tell them how much you love them.

(I'm now safely back in Chicago at 39 weeks pregnant already feeling contractions.  Timing was nuts...thank God for keeping me safe throughout the flights.  More to come on baby #2's arrival...) Thank you for everyone's heartfelt emails, messages, and support